‘Dog Walker: The Audiobook’ is now available

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Dog Walker is out in audio! Finally, you can read this story as it was meant to be read: with your ears while walking a dog, since that’s how I read most books while I was writing it. Consumed a whole lot of Stephen King (Stephen Weber’s so good he almost made that child orgy at the end of It palatable) and the entirety of Harry Potter that way. Listen, we all like Emma Watson, but she just doesn’t say “Harry…” with the right elderly-British-man cadence that I’m used to.

But yeah. I think this turned out pretty great? Travis Baldree killed it on the narration. I listened to it just to proof for mistakes, and I kept getting caught up in the narrative and having to go back and focus on proofing. Which is impressive, considering I read this book like 700 times. There are jokes and bits of dialogue in here that I think actually play better out loud than they did in the print book. I recommend it!

I have a few Audible promo codes to pass out in exchange for honest reviews. If you’re interested, hit me up in the comments. 🙂


Patreon Rejiggering + Dog Walker OST

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Well, both the baby and I got sick last week, which put me a week behind schedule on those DWII chapters, which means my small Patreon-focused buffer is gone, three weeks in. This does not bode well for the continued existence of a buffer, since my schedule ain’t exactly freeing up any time soon. So! With that in mind, I am slimming down the Patreon options, well in advance of anyone actually subscribing. $1 a month gets you credit on the website and in the back of the book. Sign up if you want, don’t if you don’t. Everybody gets the same stuff.

Also! I made a soundtrack for Dog Walker (the first one) on Spotify. It’s basically the temp score for the movie that played in my head while I was writing, built out of what I was listening to at the time. I kind of make these anyway to get the pacing and feel of the scenes right, so I figured I’d share it. 🙂


Dog Walker is Open for Auditions on ACX!

Dog Walker is Open for Auditions on ACX!

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Hey guys,

Just wanted to post a quick update saying that Dog Walker is now on the Audible Creation Exchange and auditions are OPEN.


What does this mean? I didn’t know like a day and a half ago so…I should probably explain. Basically…

  1. I post the book on this website
  2. People (you???) audition using the sample script provided
  3. The winner records an audiobook
  4. We split the profits 50/50 when it goes up on Audible/Amazon/iTunes.

I’ve gotten about a dozen submissions so far and they’re all really good. Competition’s going to be pretty fierce. If you’re interested in this exciting “speak in funny voices for money” opportunity, apply today!